Promoting Positive Relationships in Manchester
Support, Resources and Information.
What is Promoting Positive Relationships?
The occasional and low level disagreements and conflict between parents/carers, is a feature of most households. This can be the case when we are dealing with difficult times. However there is clear evidence that highlights that exposure to frequent, intense, and poorly resolved household conflict, can have a damaging impact on children/young people, resulting in long-term emotional, social, behavioural, and educational issues for them.
Parents/carers can look to address low level conflict by displaying a wide range of behaviours, from constructive (helpful) to destructive (harmful) behaviours. Harmful behaviours in a relationship that are frequent, intense, and poorly resolved can lead to a lack of respect and a lack of resolution.
Behaviours such as shouting, becoming withdrawn or slamming doors can be
viewed by children as harmful.
Low level conflict is different from domestic abuse. This is because there is
not an imbalance of power, neither parent seeks to control the other, and neither parent is fearful of the other.
How are we Reducing family conflict and Promoting Positive Relationships?
Manchester City Council along with partner agencies are looking to develop how we support families in promoting positive relationships within households. We are actively looking at feedback from all Manchester parents/carers on how we can develop our current offer of support. In doing this, we aim to support families earlier so the impact of conflict does not lead to lasting damage to children, young people and adults.
Why do we want to Promote Positive Relationships?
There is evidence to show that reducing conflict between parents is one of the most effective ways to reduce the negative impact on the emotional and Mental wellbeing of children and young people.
For more information email: PPR@manchester.gov.uk
Information for Practitioners
Manchester City council and key partner agencies a new developing a range of resources and tools to support parents/carers to identify and address any issues of low level conflict they may be experiencing within the family.
The main objective being to help families address issues as early as possible and prevent circumstances escalating over time to become circumstances that can be identified as Domestic Abuse.
We firmly believe that safeguarding begins with prevention and prevention is best achieved as soon as issues begin to arise.
Our Ask;
That every practitioner in Manchester (regardless of sector or area of specialism) who Offers support information or guidance to children, young people and families, shares some simple resources with those parents and carers you meet.
Please explain that as part of the development of these resources we would like to know if Manchesters parents and carers feel these resources would help those families experiencing low level conflict.
To learn more about this approach and the resources you can email us at: PPR@manchester.gov.uk
Partners we are working with to Promote Positive Relationships
- Manchester Family Hubs
- Manchester Sure Start Childrens Centres
- Manchester Youth Justice
- Manchester Targeted Intervention Early Help Hubs
- Coop Academy Manchester
- Lorreto College
- Big Life
- Family Action
- Manchester City Council Domestic Abuse reduction Manager
- M Thrive
- A North Manchester area youth lead
Where can I go for support with conflict in my relationship?
Useful contacts for support for Domestic Abuse
A key point is that relationship conflict is very different to domestic abuse. No-one should ever make you feel threatened or unsafe; if this is the case there are many organisations and services that are there to support you.
In an emergency, always call the police on 999 (or 101 in a non-emergency).
How can I start a conversation about Relationship Conflict?
By having Strength Based Conversations and exploring five areas of life, practitioners can ask a parent how they feel about home and how the family work together to overcome challenge and meet need. Where parents/carers feel comfortable talking about this area of thier lives (they don't have to) practitioners can introduce the idea of how the PPR resources may be a good starting poit to help the family improve the relationships within the household.
For an introduction into undertaking a good quality Strength based Conversation please see this 2 moinute video. found by access this link here.
For further insight/training and resources to support you in undertaking an SB conversation, you can email a request to: jeff.burns@manchester.gov.uk or anthony.gilfillan@manchester.gov.uk
Information for Parents and Carers
What is Relationship Conflict?
Sometimes we will have arguments or disagree in our relationships, and sometimes conflict can increase to a level that’s not healthy for a family life.
Not all arguing and conflict is damaging, but when children see adults, parents, carers and loved ones argue often or ignore each other frequently, it can have a negative impact.
Did you know, this can impact on your child’s:
- Behaviour
- Mental and Physical Health
- Education
- Friendships and relationships
- Self-esteem and confidence
Arguing and conflict can also impact on adults, parents and carers lives too. Conflict can happen in all types of families, even if you are not living together.
What Might Cause Conflict in relationships?
Pretty much anything can cause conflict in a relationship or at home:
Money, Housing, Mental Health, Chores, Social Media and so much more.
How can I promote positive relationships?
There are many things we can do to reduce conflict, remember…. Arguing is not always bad news, it depends on the kind of arguing that is happening.
Destructive Conversations verses Constructive Conversations.
How do you respond in an argument?
Constructive conversations are healthier and helpful.
Constructive conversations can lead to disagreements or arguments being resolved in a positive manner, while destructive conversations can lead to negative feelings, feelings of frustration and more arguing.
There are many things we can do to help reduce conflict and arguing:
- Take time to talk with family members about what is concerning you, book a time in.
- Set ground rules for talking through ideas. Walking away, having a break is a good place to start.
- Know what triggers you. Think about what triggers a strong reaction from you being able to think clearly.
- Spend more time together – family time.
- Celebrate things you agree on and use this when you are talking in the future.
- Have a support network.
- Think and use your own coping strategies.
Do I need support?
Sometimes we might not feel like we need support, or that things will just sort themselves out in time. Sometimes, just talking things through with a trusted person, friend or family may help, but sometimes we do need that bit of extra support, and there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
Information for Children and Young People
What is Relationship Conflict?
Sometimes we will have arguments or disagree with people in our families. in our relationships and family life, and sometimes arguments increase to a level that’s not healthy for you or others in your family.
Not all arguing is damaging, but when we see adults, parents, carers and loved ones argue often or ignore each other frequently, it can have a negative impact.
Did you know, this can possibly affect you in many ways such as:
- Your Behaviour
- How you feel about life
- How you get on in school
- How you get on with other people and other relationships
- How you feel about yourself and your level of confidence
Arguing and conflict can also impact on all members of the family too. Conflict can happen in all types of families, even if you are not living together.
How is it making you feel?
What Might Cause arguing at home and in relationships?
Pretty much anything can cause conflict in a relationship or at home:
- Social Media
- School
- Stress from friends
- Money
- Privacy
- Wanting more independence and so much more.
What can you do about this?
It’s not up to you alone to fix the relationships in your family. At the same time feeling you want to help is natural.
Asking for help is not always easy, but if you feel comfortable you can speak with a trusted person, whether that is someone in school, clubs, family friend or any other trusted person.